Sunday, January 29, 2012

Be a coward or make some changes?

I like to speak my mind

I am not afraid to go against the grain and do the ‘right’ thing.

I don’t care what the crowd is doing,

I like to do my own thing.

Biggest pet peeve?



I believe if someone is too scared that they will be disliked if they stand up for what they believe…or stick up for a person who is wronged in someway…

….they are cowardly.

Yes, I have said what I believe is true and gotten shunned and basically sh*t on. I was told to ‘stop causing drama and get along with people.’

I spend 160 hours out of my month surrounded by mistreatment, discrimination and hatred. People flat out hate each other. Their best friends are their worst enemies in disguise. I see good people break down and turn into different souls.

New people have a spark of excitement in their eyes…

which quickly fade into eyes of disgust and defeat.

They (actually we) are basically cattle. Herded to our ‘work station’ and told everything we do is wrong. One supervisor will tell you to go left…and the next one tells you to go right (and writes you up for going left)

We are told to be the “old” (fill in your name here) We are told to go back to being the nice person we were when we started.

We are told to act professional one second, right after that person gets done making a sexual joke that was the opposite of professional.

I could go out and look for another job but what holds me back is fear.

And plenty of it.

My ‘what ifs’ are holding me back. I refuse to take any responsibility for the ridiculousness of some people here…but it is my fault for staying and continuing to endure it.

But I shouldn’t have to leave to find a job where I am not mistreated! Why am I the one who has to leave??!!

Because no one else will speak up…if everyone keeps their grips and issues to themselves or their closest buddy here, nothing will ever change.

Next question….

Is it even WORTH changing?

I don’t plan on working here forever. It is not my career choice, just my current job until my next calling comes at me. I just feel as though I cannot wait for my calling to ‘come at me’. I love change and boy do I ever need it!

I am a good person. I speak the truth. I am as loyal as they come. I am a good listener. I am honest. I admit when I am wrong. I don’t stand down to anyone. I defend the defenseless and I have empathy, sympathy and compassion. And I still am working everyday to be an even better person than I was yesterday.

But here…I need to either dump them or join them because they bring out a baaaaaad side of me. The side I feel guilty for having but I think we all have a ‘darker’ side… Darth Vader did.

I like my good side much better. So do other people.

I know my life won’t change unless I put the effort in to change it so what the heck am I waiting for? If you don’t like the circumstances you are in at any given time, it is your God-given right to take control and decide what you want to do differently.

I have some soul-searching to do.


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